Personally I’ve had an incredibly stressful few weeks, enough so that I’ve developed an omnipresent sort of buzz in my head, resulting in a semi-permanent stress headache. Tired of being incapacitated by my own life, I decided to go out with friends yesterday. We spent the evening relaxing in Little Tokyo: sharing a few cocktails and appetisers at Yebisu Tavern, wandering the Tokyo Plaza for trinkets and Japanese sweets, and discussing the end of the world, plasma balls from the sun, and 2012 over authentic ramen from Daikokuya. As we crunched our edamame and planned fantasy international excursions into east Asia, I felt my headache slowly lift for the first time in days, and for a few glorious moments recounting Japan, I felt like myself again. I think it’s high time I really looked at why I fell in love with Japan, and why I should consider going back.

1) I was working. I might be the only person I know who’s looking forward to working 40-hour work weeks again like I did in Japan, but I simply adored having that separation between work and life. Not only was I throwing my all into the full-time internship I had, which was satisfying in and of itself, but I was also giving everything else 100%, which I hadn’t been able to do in a long time. I’m an all or nothing kind of person, and juggling 400 things as I am now means I only get to give any one of them about 12% of my energy, so everything feels shortchanged. In Japan, I was working the hardest of my life, but I was playing the hardest of my life too, and I loved every minute of it.

2) I was constantly learning. When you’re in a foreign culture, especially one as vast as Japanese culture, you’re never really done learning things: customs, phrases, politics, social issues, ideology, menus, history, the list just goes on an on. Add to that infinite wealth of things to learn a massive, frenetic city that isn’t just the largest in the world, but also the most 24/7 of any metropolis (yes, Tokyo even beats New York). There was so much to explore physically and culturally that it was damn near impossible to be bored. I was always stumbling into new gems, and meeting new people who showed me new sides of Tokyo every week.

3) I was incredibly inspired. In the same vein, Japan has so much energy, and so much art, so much beauty, so much history, so many subcultures, so many places to go, in short, the country has so much cool stuff going on that around every corner I was inspired to do more, to learn more. I’d see a poster and be moved by the graphic design, or I’d hear a coworker talk about their trip to Hokkaido and I’d be touched by the tale, or I’d hear a band and gain some incredible insight that I just had to take home and do something with. I’ve never been so enthusiastic or sparked in my entire life.

4) I was doing what I loved every second of the day because of that as well. I was travelling, photographic copious pictures, assembling videos on everything I could think of, jotting down ideas left and right, reading voraciously, and writing my thoughts on a near daily basis. I was able to strike the perfect balance between life and self; I had enough going on to stimulate me, but enough free time to put my plans into motion, and enough left over to socialise with anyone who would have a conversation with me. Essentially in Japan I was the person I want to always be.

5) I was free in Japan. I mean this in many ways. My worries were zilch, and not having to fret over time and money is one of the most liberating feelings ever. I knew I could take care of myself. I also felt infinitely safer in Japan than I did in California or Texas, and I felt I could wander freely and live my life on my own time rather than having to worry about subways closing or neighbourhoods I couldn’t go into. Tokyo afforded me tons of agency too, and with a 500¥ coin I could hop on a subway and go anywhere my heart desired. I could take a shinkansen to anywhere in the country or a short plane ride to anywhere in the region. There are always events going on and trips to take. I miss that freedom, the ability to explore freely and fully in a place as engaging and Japan.

Of course it helps that I am so head over heels for Japanese culture and fashion and music and history that just thinking about my time in Tokyo brings a huge smile to my face, and the prospect of returning makes me more excited than I’ve been in months. I was able to discuss the subject with a number of colleagues while in Japan, and overall the conclusion I drew was that the foreigners who live in Japan are there because they want to be. It’s not an easy thing to be a gaijin in any country, especially one as closed-off as Japan, but there are hundreds of expats who think it’s worth it. It’s food for thought for me, since I really did fall in love with the city while I was there. Sure one experience may not make a maxim, but it was one hell of an experience.