What if you never turned off the television?


Could television alone carry you to fluency? True, even the best-intentioned television tends to be vapid and grating, but it’s also a veritable wellspring of study material. Channels I’d never be caught dead watching at home rivet me for the few words and numbers my addled brain can place in the proper context. I may only recognise one line in 내 여자친구는 구미호, I may have to look up what in the world 강심장 is even about, but by god I will make sense of this grey box or die trying. Hence, my newfound fascination with the home shopping channel.

Not only does basic cable feature no fewer than seven dedicated home shopping channels, but each one is devoted to a particular specialty: kitchen appliances, mobile phones, women’s clothing, and so forth. I cannot get enough of this stuff. An extra cheesy presentation makes it abundantly clear what the host highlights, while the repetitive nature of the channels means I’m guaranteed more than one chance to figure it out, since the same material is presented in different ways every ten minutes or so. Add to that all the numbers shouted out during a segment, and you’ve got the ideal learning tool.

Plus it’s real, live Korean made by Korean people for Korean people. I get totally psyched when I figure something out in a way that understanding my textbook’s dialogue CD can’t quite duplicate. Not even the embarrassment of admitting how many hours of Korean QVC I actually enjoyed can put a damper on that kind of success. Korean is Korean any way you slice it.



Practice what you want to learn.


Modern schooling is devoid of common sense, leading us through complicated ballets of mnemonics like the mother 오리 leading her fluffy ducklings. And why wouldn’t us wee ducklings trust the almighty 선생님? After all, our superiors know Korean and we do not. 강사는 압니다 그렇지만 저는 몰라요. Our humble unknowing hardly qualifies a create-your-own learning map.

There’s no mutual exclusivity there. Yes, I have the Korean capacity of my eighteen month old cousin. Yes, my native-speaking instructor’s experience learning the language is about 30 years removed. My bumbling vocabulary barely breaks the triple digits, but just because I desperately need the guidance of my wonderful Korean teacher does not exclude my need for actual practice, because that thing we do in class? Not practice.

Understanding native-level Korean is the name of the game. Drills are all the stuff that supports the understanding: vocabulary lists, grammar explanations, essay homework, mock dialogues, and anything else that your brainhole has to translate into its native language to fully grasp. Any 학생 in his right mind would call drills the height of 심심합니다, provided he knew a translation expressive enough to convey how boring classwork can be.

I’m not eschewing all language drills, but the important element of my Korean learning is not watching 이 and 을 duke it out. Which would I rather: generate perfect Korean or understand it perfectly? The television whines in the background, a constant reminder beckoning me to a world of dramas yet unseen if only I could garner their plot from my meagre understanding. Exposure. Repetition. Practice. If I let the television provide opportunities for me to practice understanding, even absentmindedly, the curds of my developing Korean sensibility well get firmer and firmer with each episode of 커피프린스. Every advert is an opportunity to practice picking out numbers and words from an outpouring of culturally relevant, high-gear Korean. I aim to watch enough television to produce cheese.

Books line the shelves of 느림보거북이, my local coffee/study spot, wishing I would hurry up and get fluent already so I can read the addresses on quarterly design publications and actually hang out in hypercool corners of the city. 휴드폰 from the future flank my sides each time I board the privately run line 9, winking me into a fit of jealousy. We could be in your pocket, they whisper, if you were a productive, Korean speaking member of society.

1000000174.JPG

Tightly bound, well-designed 책 are probably the worst teases of the media, magnetically pulling at the 공부 벌레 thread of my personality like a schoolyard bully hoping I’ll succumb to a fit of frustration in front of all my 선배 and 친구. I’ve tried to fast the bookwormiest elements of personality out of existence, but my nerddom hungrily growls in reply, patience dwindling. To stave off my appetite for reading material, I ventured to Kyobo 서점 to frolic through the multilingual aisles in search of a tome to outlast my limited 한국어. Seoul is still a blank slate in my eyes, and while inside I may be an impressionable 2-year-old Korean child, outside I’m an espresso loving twenty-something hipster who would really appreciate the help finding decent supper. Long after I would have left some random cookbook by the wayside, I am still trying to understand why the 서을, 단골 가게 author deigns a particular cafe worthy of regular patronage.

If linguistics were football, I’d be learning to play by joining pickup games in the park, not by having my grandfather explain it to me when the World Cup is in town. Of course, learning by doing means I screw up more than I get it right. To make the struggle worthwhile, I have to stick to media I need and want, not just think might be kind of interesting. Hence the guidebook featuring requisite maps. I leave it to 내 이름은 김삼순 to satisfy my foodlust and explain how to order at a bakery. I sniff out the most popular of the indie music artist in Korea so I’ll have something to nail next time I head to a 노래방. As you can see, rather than waste my time writing extra essays, I practice what I want to learn.

It sounds so obvious but it isn’t. The modern classroom crafts lessons not to maximise exposure, but to minimise the amount of time you have to read Korean before you understand. Sport builds the same way; specifically drill a subset of skills and spend a minute percentage of time actually playing the game. I’m not interested in getting good at drills. I intend to own the game.



I want South Korea to take me in as one of her own.


IMG_0427.JPG

I say this as a silly foreigner fresh off the boat with zero prior knowledge of the language, the customs, and my new locale. I am, however, armed with dreams of casting my dismal Spanish aside and proving to myself I am secretly good at languages. If only language were the only reason I’ve quit my coat-and-tie gig in Washington D.C. and flown halfway across the world.

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest mofo in the world. If I moved to a martial arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash

It’s as if Neal Stephenson planted that seed in my brain ten years ago and it’s only recently begun to germinate. Deep down in a small cavity behind my navel I know that if I just gave up the corporate gig, I could become a complete badass. I could climb mountains in blizzards, win back-alley fistfights, and stop bullets with my forearms. The iron fist surrounding that cavity can only be convinced to loosen its grip with reason and responsibility, neither of which can thrive in the type of environment required to become an honest to goodness superhuman. This, of course, means I’ve thrown rationality mostly out the window and moved to Seoul.

The first step in becoming the baddest woman you’ve ever seen is to learn somebody else’s secrets. Most of Asia is rumoured to have several pockets of coveted traditions worth learning, and South Korea in particular is the sort of land where thousand year old Buddhist monastaries are next to sold-out K-Pop concerts and street stalls cooking nosh all night long. This is the kind of place I want to get lost in, day and night, and to do that, I need to learn Korean.

It can’t be that hard, otherwise no one would speak Korean, let alone almost a billion people. There are movies to watch and games to play and noraebang to sing. The only debate really is how long it might take someone to learn how to carry on a conversation with a stranger at a bus stop. I reckon less than a year. Significantly less than a year, actually.

What, you don’t believe me? How about a little bet, eh? I wager I can learn Korean to conversational fluency in six months. Seriously, six months; I’ll prove it to you right here, at unlikelysquiggle.com In just six months I’ll be able to chat with any old man, no matter how convoluted his dialect. Over six months, from 2011’s Chuseok (thanksgiving) in September to 2012’s Samil Movement (independence day) in March, I will kick this language’s butt and become a conversational Korean speaker. It’s on.



Some things are easier outside of America and some things are harder.


In South Korea, for example, there are tons of neighbourhood parks with free exercise equipment for anyone inclined to do a little weight training. Jogging isn’t nearly as popular as you’d expect, and though there are a few of us hitting the pavement each day, mostly walking is the preferred exercise regimen. Even more surprising, about 80% of the folks I see using the strength training machines would be old enough to qualify for Medicare in the states. Korea has some fit old people, let me tell you.

The younger crowd is pretty obsessed with dieting and detoxing to boot. Considering the streets of Apgujeong-ro are lined with plastic surgery centers, I would be concerned if the waifish ladies I rub elbows with didn’t drop my jaw. They walk vast distances every day in lacy pumps and I’ve seen quite a few do serious damage at the supper table all while maintaining enviable posture. That’s not all. Since actress Lee SiYoung won her boxing competition, boxing and other martial arts like Tae Kwon Do, originally reserved for men, have become a women’s game too and boxing in particular, a stunning combination of hip and hard core.

Add to all that my desperate need to explore a city this big by foot, and you get exercise far easier to keep up with than I ever could have imagined back in DC. Unfortunately, the kind of local farm fare availability I’ve come to expect living in Virginia is simply not around in South Korea, partially because the country (like most industrialised nations) doesn’t have enough land to feed its population and partially because no one seems to mind. There are lots of imports from surrounding Asian countries, and when you do get your hands on the regional goods, the concept of organic and natural aren’t a popular selling point. In a way, it’s nice to see the idea of “organic” hasn’t been as exploited everywhere as it has stateside, but it’s also frustrating to see there isn’t much demand for sustainably farmed produce and grass-feed meats. The issue is largely unsung on the peninsula.

This is not incidental information here; it’s a serious issue. South Korea has its fair share of domestic rice and vegetables markets, though the vast majority of farming is not only conventional, but 15 times more pesticide ridden than similar crops in America. As you might imagine, Korea has a much higher cancer rate and incidence of pesticide related disease. Of course, that’s not to say it’s impossible to find organic produce and pastured meat. iCoop is a sustainable farmer’s co-op (much like DC’s Arganica) that delivers organic produce to households, while Heuk Salim is a popular organic produce of the month club in Seoul. Additionally the National Agriculture Products Quality Management Service has implemented a labelling system denoted by green 유기농산물 and blue 무농익농산물 signify produce grown with out chemicals or chemical fertiliser for the past 3 years and 1 year, respectively. Denoting organic produce is a start, but since not even 1% of all Korean farming is organic, there needs to be more.

Generally, your best options are imports, most of them from New Zealand. Companies like Pulmone have a smattering of produce at Emarts and Lottes. For more selection, Hoonja Food and Huckleberry Farms are akin to Whole Foods, offering limited organic fare at outlets if you can make the trip to their storefronts. In the larger grocer’s, you can sometimes find kiwi meat for a pretty penny. I think it’s worth it, since the vast majority of all New Zealand beef and lamb is grass-fed or grass-finished and there are a few conscious pig farmers about to feed the country’s pork belly obsessions, but locally I’ve found nothing on the scale of Polyface farms. Sticking to fish is the best bet for the sustainability obsessed such as myself, since I can practically smell the difference from a farmed fish from a mile away and I could recite which breeds are likely to disappear quietly. Personally, I find eggs the real kicker. South Koreans and I totally see eye to eye on the deliciousness of eggs, but while Cage Free eggs are relatively easy to find, I can’t seem to root out pastured eggs without travelling to the boonies myself. This is such a bummer, since pastured eggs are far superior to conventional eggs. How far? More vitamins D (five times as much, to be exact), E, and A, seven times more beta carotene, and a doubly healthy omega 3:6 ratio. So yeah, far superior.

There are some restaurants too, in Seoul at least, that cater to the eco-conscious crowd. Veggieholic, Chung Mirae, Daylesford, Congdu, New Star, and Sosim all dish out mostly organic meals. If you see a monk wandering around lunchtime, follow him, because he’ll probably lead you to a pretty rad place to eat that cares about the environment and the health of its customers. Otherwise, concessions must be made. Just about the only easy to acquire organic food group is coffee and tea, most of which is organic and fair trade, simply because the whole cafe culture here is wonderfully upscale.

I hope the movement is growing here, and while eating organic is certainly not easy in South Korea, it’s definitely possible, at least some of the time. I’m not ready to commit to another CSA-type situation yet, but I’ll have to see if being 80% organic in my home cooking at least is even possible. It’s yet another culinary adventure.



My job kicked some sense into me.


Generally, I live by the editing floor motto “when in doubt, cut it out.” In cinema, killing is love; only few precious details should ever renter the work, and even then only after all parties have repeatedly tried to excise them to no avail. I was trying to tell someone what my day was like. And yet, with about 4 hours of footage to chose from, I wound up with this:

This tells you nothing about my day, absolutely nothing. My day passes, from one hour to the next and neither of us has any idea what transpires. As a :30 short it is amusing, but not helpful, and that’s when it hit me. Reductionism is amusing, but not helpful. In my search for a “healthy” diet, I’ve been so busy boiling down food into three large chunks, I forgot to pay attention. Morning, daytime, and evening are accurate ways to break up my day, but they leave out how I spent the afternoon clearing the felled tree in my yard, and the delicious one-pot meal I made for supper. Sure you can break food down into carbohydrate, protein, and fat, but that doesn’t help me isolate anything.

To be honest, I’m shocked. I thought my culinary skills would ensure diet was the easiest part to figure out. My sport-hating bum expected exercise to be the sticking point, but here I am, able to pound the pavement in one way or another every day. A few days of research and I know exactly what it takes to develop strength. Months later, and I still have no clue what I’m supposed to eat. It’s apparently going to be a process of elimination for me.

So, what next? The sticking point is thus: in clinical trials, the carbohydrate hypothesis seems to hold its own, while the lipid hypothesis falls on its face. Great, except when I cut out the starches, like most of the carbohydrate hypothesis supporters suggest, I experienced none of the results obese trial participants did. I jumped the gun and declared the carbohydrate hypothesis bunk.

But now you know that was just reductionism speaking. What if starches — beans, grains, and tubers — aren’t the problem? Other carbohydrates like sugar, fruit, and alcohol elicit more disastrous insulin responses. I overlooked this because the most common culprits — fizzy pop, candy bars, overconsumption of drinks — were never part of my life. So if pop is causing obesity in America, it certainly couldn’t be to blame for my lack of health.

Since body composition is the sole domain of nutrition, what else am I overlooking and oversimplifying?



All hail the five minute workout.


Most of the time I shy away from anything akin to burning, especially when the sensation is under my skin, but sometimes you have to go big to go home. When it comes to serious strength training, going big means feeling the burn. Luckily, I only have to feel it for five minutes. Then I get to go home.

I’ve never been to a CrossFit session, but followers are all over the internet, offering workout ideas and swapping Paleo recipes. I stole the five minute workout from them and toned it down so I wouldn’t end up tossing my cookies all over the jungle gym. You see, CrossFit converts subscribe to a special kind of masochism valuing intensity over pretty much everything else. To wit, they have a point. Going for intensity of that nature does the job. It’s just not always fun, and when it comes to elite athletics, not always wise. Your body needs recovery time and lots of it, so most days I do super laid back workouts where I can stop and rest for as long as I like. Every once in a while, whether I’m short on time or just ready to floor it in high gear, I bust out the five minute workout. It keeps things interesting, and with the number of insane challenges available on YouTube, trust me, there’s no excuse for a boring workout.

Make no mistake, the more viciously you pursue your exercise (never sacrificing form, of course!) the more you will feel like drunk Gumby when you’re done. I sometimes need help putting the key in my lock. That’s why when you up the intensity, you need to keep the duration disturbingly low because you will feel totally, utterly drained. That’s why you set the timer for five minutes and attack a series of full body exercises most people can’t do if they had all day, let alone the duration of a Drapht song. It takes a whole different kind of endurance to make it through those last trembling box jumps. But then you stumble home and when you make it out of the shower, you feel like a total bad ass.

I try to keep my intense workouts to once or twice a week. I sort of bumble around the rest of the time. Don’t be ashamed if you’re even lazier than I am; you can easily do one five minute workout a week and still manage to gain lots of muscle tone. It’s arguably more ideal than the hour-long session in the weight room method most fitness magazines assume. I don’t work out every day to gain muscle. I don’t even do it to lose fat. All my inquiry into nutrition suggests exercise doesn’t have much to do with weight loss. Exercise does wonders for your hormone balance though, including increase your insulin sensitivity, level your serotonin/melatonin production, and flush out excess cortisol. That’s why I try to work out every day, including the days when all you’ve got to spare is five measly minutes. If you’re doing it right, five minutes is more than enough.



A dozen weeks of work and no results? You’ve got to be kidding me.


It’s humiliating. Infuriating. And worst of all, I haven’t a clue why.

My goal is optimal health, which assumes the human body is supposed to be lean and toned in its natural state. Excess fat is not only a bad thing, we believe it’s an unnatural thing. Most of us have excess fat hanging around somewhere or another, and to wage war on the scant bits clinging to my midriff is arguably not worth my while. Well, that and griping about flabby arms makes me sound like a spoilt child. I’d hate to come off as a brat, but the fact remains, I’m back at square one. So what happened? Did I fail to make lasting change because I lost steam on the project? Was the method wrong? If anything, all this research into the Japanese conundrum has shown me nutrition is a whole lot more complicated than health authors make it seem.

Lost in an avalanche of misinformation, I am left with ideas even murkier of what I should be putting down my pie hole. I’ve lost contact with normality. To get some proper perspective, it was time to consult mates of mine, a longtime couple friend who have had their own flirtations with health agendas and a campaign or two towards kicking as much ass as I’m currently trying, and failing, to kick. I expected two folks who spend so much time together to have compared notes, but surprisingly, they approached fitness from completely opposite viewpoints, with fairly similar on again, off again results. One of my mates thinks it’s all about the effort you bring to the table. He thinks you gain weight because you eat too much of the wrong stuff. Overindulge and you’re toast, according to the rule book his genes play by. His girlfriend on the other hand, thinks it’s all about your lifestyle. Exercise and fitness follows, including figure. In her book, everything else is details. Is one of them right?

Theories of fitness are based on experience, so the guy who experiences success is the guy who might have a decent theory. It seems all of my mates think they could improve in the fitness department. It makes me feel like maybe looking cut is not the human body’s naturally tendency. It makes me believe there’s no easy answer. Therein lies the sticking point for me. A diet without grains, beans, potatoes, and sugar felt impossible to maintain without keeping a toe in my kitchen at all times and weirding out friends toting jerky to the pub. It felt like too much work. I like to think anything requiring that much work can’t be right. Eating healthy can’t be that hard, otherwise obesity would be the norm, not the exception. I thought perhaps nutrition wasn’t the defining factor after all.

Maybe it isn’t. Some other statistics are worth investigating for the solutions they hypothesize: Why do Jews and Seventh Day Adventists live longer? What does conscientiousness have to do with life expectancy? Which factors do Sardinians and Okinawans share? Is obesity a behavioural or a biochemical problem? How do blood work markers differ between weight loss trials of obese patients and merely overweight patients? Might “America” be fat for a different reason than you and I are? Yet the logic lover in me is holding onto the idea that nutrition is 90% of the battle. You can’t simply wish lean muscle mass into existence, right? Right?

I’m not sure anymore, and while I keep expecting to be presented with a a crystal clear road map, that’s not how it works in the real world. Here I am, living in the real word, wishing it was more like they say it is in books. It’s silly. Is it so wrong to want a little clarity?

I am stabbing blindly at this whole diet problem. What is it that actually causes poor health? It’s not only me at a loss. No one seems to know. The lipid hypothesis fails in practice, and the carbohydrate hypothesis works in trials but not on whole continents of populations that eat starch out the yin-yang and manage much lower rates of heart disease and obesity alike. And why did I fail to follow the conventional methods of a “healthy” diet? In my experience, a lack of willpower is rarely the cause of any roadblock. The vast majority of failure indicates an incapable method, not an incapable person. So was it something I was doing in particular that stopped me cold, or something I was not?

Ever noticed how people can react to the same feedback wildly differently? When we fail the pop quizzes of life, some of us take one look at those red Xs and say “I didn’t study hard enough.” Not all of us, mind you. Some people think “I studied poorly.” It’s not a parable, since neither is a success or a failure. Despite receiving identical instruction and identical marks, lots of kids get the same marks. We treat the feedback differently based on our assumptions.

It’s a slippery thing to notice, but the difference between studying insufficiently and studying ineffectively is vast. Studying the wrong materials for hours will still leave you unprepared. On the other hand, knowing the right materials but never studying them is a recipe for poor marks. When something isn’t working, you need to ask yourself why. Which student are you? Are you studying the wrong way or are you studying the wrong things? I suspect in this case I’m the latter. The amount of bread, rice, and puddings I eat seems to do little to my body composition. What about the other stuff? Alcohol, fruit, and dairy might have a bigger impact on my body composition than anything else, I could try moderating those and see if it makes a difference. I could try to cut out all of those things, but if the problem is the method, it won’t make a difference.

There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to give it a go. I’m not totally convinced though, and while my scribbled in notebooks have taken me a long way on this journey to reach optimal health, I can’t shake the suspicion they’re limited. The metrics I’m tracking — weight, waistline, timed mile, consecutive pushups, and so on — leave much to be desired. There are other, often simpler measures of health that I haven’t thought to track, such as the health of my skin, my overall mood and energy level, the tone of my voice, the fit of my clothing, that sort of thing. Rather than spend hours trying to quantify acne, I thought I’d do what I do best and start making a video vlog about this whole process. I’ll be able to notice those sorts of changes in the day to day. If it’s the method, I’ll probably be able to figure out why.



Status Update


Summary:
All this conjecture about the Japanese diet with little scientific data to back it up got me curious. My second round of fitness research, conducted at the end of June, hinted diet and exercise didn’t have as much to do with health as conventional wisdom would suggest, so I decided to conduct a little self-experiment (hence the lack of pictures lately). Since July 12th or so, I decided to stop watching what I ate and give up on trying to exercise to see if it would yield any results.

Miraculously, it didn’t. Even though I was convinced I would adopt a butternut squash shape, over three weeks of drastic diet change I gained pretty much no additional weight and sparse muscle mass. Minimal strength improvements were seen, as expected. I ate dessert at least once a day, I helped myself to seconds, and I slept until noon. My body fat percentage rose, suggesting I gained a pure pound or so of body fat, but body fat calculations are notoriously sensitive and I admit I haven’t been to vigilant about doing a fasting measurement. Since my hip, waist, and arm circumferences as well as pushup ability are about the same as they were a month ago, I chalk the difference up to miscalculation.

That I experienced little physiological changes was a sucker punch to the gut. Maybe I’m on to something when I bemoan the murky reaches of nutritional clinical trials in the last century of human history. Maybe diet and exercise doesn’t have anything to do with it. To be honest, it’s a relief. I was growing frustrated with nutritional science, especially since so much of it seems to contradict itself. To find all of it fails on a personal level alleviates the cognitive dissonance I was feeling last month. I tried the conventional portion control theory, even eating out of the smallest dishes I owned to no avail. I tried the unconventional carbohydrate restriction with some, but not significant, success. I believe in gene expression, not genes, which means I refuse to let my natural constitution have the final say. And really, when have the experts ever been right? Time to start sniffing around for theories on my own.

Goals:
Commit. Find a social sport I enjoy and commit to practicing it. Failure. While I don’t mind exercise, I still dislike sport. Go figure.
Protein. Supplement an additional 30g of protein each day to improve recovery and muscle gain. Failure. I have no idea how the Japanese make fish and breakfast mix.
Lunch. Actually eat this meal regularly, then worry about what you’re eating. Success.

Gold Stars:
Sweets. Pear tarts and cupcakes just begin to describe the kind of month I’ve had. I’m glad to know sweets can be a part of a healthy diet, since there’s nothing quite like splitting a lemon tart with a mate over coffee on a lazy afternoon.

Gripes:
Thirst. Perhaps it’s the rising temperatures in Virginia, perhaps it’s the disturbing amount of bread I’ve been eating, but whatever the cause, I’ve been almost insatiably thirsty. It hits usually at night, right before dinner in a mouth-puckering burst of need, then disappears for another two dozen hours. It’s not uncomfortable, just inconvenient.
Heat. The blazing morning sun makes it difficult to get out there and get some exercise, so I haven’t. Sure there were no ill-effects to my body, but my emotional state took a hit, since I found thoroughly exhausting myself a few times a week actually helped keep my head clear and my sleep restful.

Metrics:
Resting heart rate: 89bpm (+11)
Timed mile: 10:51.1″ (+0:46.9)
Consecutive pushups: 8 (+1 )
Consecutive chinups: 0 (+0)
Timed plank: 1:09.4″ (+0:01.4)
Timed wall-sit: 0:39.1″ (+0:05.8)
Hamstring flexibility: 0″ to ground (-0.7)
Waist size: 29.75″ (+0.85)
Weight: 124 lbs (+1)
Body fat: 24.86% (+.94)

Going Forward:
Grease the Groove. Practice elevated pushups in short bursts, keeping proper body tension, throughout the day to build the pathways for the one-armed pushup.
Identify Causes. Find a new behavioural hypothesis that might explain the Japanese phenomenon as well as help you lower your body fat percentage by 5% to achieve optimal lean muscle mass.



The science has obviously failed us at explaining why the Japanese are leaner and healthier than everybody else.


Might it be the miso? The millions of kilos of fish? The copious green tea? We’ll never know, because no one’s bothered to study it conclusively. If it isn’t clearly the what of the Japanese diet, then maybe the country’s incredible health and longevity is caused by what isn’t in the Japanese diet, and the traditional Japanese diet is suspiciously lacking in saturated fat.

The lipid hypothesis, or the idea that eating fat increases your risk of heart disease and weight gain, sounds plausible enough, and the Japanese have the low rates of cardiovascular related deaths to tentatively agree. Unfortunately, the causal link has never been established in an experiment. It’s been refuted many times; study after study shows the amount of fat the Japanese eat has negligible effect on their heart health. Neither does American fat consumption for that matter. We eat less fat than ever, no joke, and our rates of heart disease haven’t subsided much in forty years. In fact, they’ve actually increased. Thank goodness we keep funding these trials, because no one seems to actually read them. If they did, we’d all realise the lipid hypothesis is even more questionable than the ingredients in baloney, begging the all-important question: if saturated fat isn’t to blame, what is?

Meet the cowboys. Considered nutrition renegades of the day,* the loudest critics of the lipid hypothesis speak of sugar as if it cheated us in poker and warn us pasta and potatoes will foul our chaste reputation. America’s love of simple sugars isn’t just responsible for heart disease, they claim, but all diseases of civilisation, as well as a whole host of other metabolic syndrome precursors to the state of health that lets our kids die before we do. These folks, who, prior to 1960, would have been voices lost in the common convention of the day, have a very different explanation. How much fat we eat, the argument goes, isn’t causing heart disease and obesity. The problem is our carbohydrate intake, specifically the insulin response caused by eating too many carbohydrates. After all, insulin is the single hormone responsible for the internal stimuli that regulate fat storage. By extension, the theory goes, Americans and their ultra-high carbohydrate consumption (and ultra-low insulin sensitivity) are obese because we have too much insulin floating around. It also might explain why America is less healthy since we started eating less fat, because to curb our saturated fat intake, we eat more sugars than ever. Hello, 72-oz electric blue slushie, please proceed directly to my ass. In short, what we eat tells our bodies to store more fat.

If too much insulin is the cause, and eating to control its production the cure, the Japanese offer up a paradox. They eat rice and a lot of it.** And they eat the most refined version of rice they can get. Polished white rice may lack the anti-nutrients present in wheat or legumes, but rice is no lightweight on the glycemic index. With a score of 58, just half a cup of cooked rice packs 100g of carbs. You’d have to drink 25 glasses of wine or eat 3 bananas to get the same insulin response, and the Japanese eat at least half a cup of the stuff with every meal. If hyperactive insulin production really is to blame for obesity and aging, how can the Japanese eat so much insulin producing rice and still resist those ill effects?

Is it in their genes? Ridiculous though it might be, those lucky Sino-genes are the next logical explanation for why Japanese people ripen so gracefully and keep for so long. The country is overwhelmingly homogenous, and the population’s near entire lactose intolerance is proof enough their gene pool is different from our own vaguely European chromosomes. Does that mean genes are responsible for Japan’s fabulous health track record and insulin-defying body chemistry?

Nope. Environmental factors are the predominant cause. The Japanese weren’t always at the top of the charts, so to speak. In fact, post-war, Japanese life expectancy was embarrassingly low. As the economy picked up, so did life expectancy, quickly actually, too quickly for the difference to be purely genetic. One decade the Japanese are doomed to early death, the next the same generation is apparently never going to die. Take members of that generation out of Japan and their life expectancies drop too. Numerous Japanese-American transplants share the same disease and obesity statistics as the place they live, not the place they come from. Do some digging and you’ll find a handful of studies following native Japanese who move to America and the like and get just as fat, old, and sick as the rest of us. This phenomenon, experienced firsthand, was the impetus for Naomi Moriyama’s lifestyle change and subsequent book supposedly spilling the beans on Japan’s longevity secrets. The same is true of all my American mates who moved to Japan fearing they would never find trousers big enough and consequently lost enough weight to fit into Japanese sizes. It would seem the cause is nurture, not nature.

What we have here is a stalemate. The Japanese aren’t immune to heart disease and premature death because they eat less saturated fat. They also aren’t immune to heart disease and premature death because they eat fewer carbohydrates. Their genes are not a mitigating factor. It is possible that the victor is neither fat nor carbohydrates, but some third element like shiso. I suppose it’s also possible that several elements working in conjunction are creating an effect individually they could not. These are possible, but given the data, not probable. More likely, the health of the Japanese can be attributed to something other than their diet.

In other words, while Moriyama’s recipe for longevity might create the right environment for success, it’s equally likely her observations focus on the part of Japanese food culture that has little impact on longterm health. The distinction is important, not just because of false attribution, but because it could help us solve our own health problems. Asking why the Japanese live so long is a loaded question. The most common explanations — they eat less food, they eat less saturated fat, they have blessed genes — are also the causes America attributes to obesity. If they can’t definitively explain Japanese health, it seems unrealistic to expect these to also explain America’s poor health. What’s left is a series of wilder-sounding hypotheses relating to things like food combining or the convergence of strange meridians precisely over the island nation. These, while possible explanations, are even harder to scientifically test, begging the mother of all questions: how do we know what is cause and what is correlation? And if we want to replicate the stunning health of the Japanese, what are we supposed to eat?

*In Hilde Bruch’s era, that insulin-driving carbs were to blame was conventional wisdom, not the Atkins-like alternative hypothesis it is today.

**So do the Koreans, Taiwanese, mainland Chinese, and dozens of other Pacific rim nations. No point in looking at them though; while many of these populations might be healthier than Americans, no other Asian population exhibits the kind of centenarian-producing health patterns the Japanese do, suggesting the presence of rice is not the missing key.



Okay, okay, so maybe quantity isn’t as important as we say it is.


It’s only natural to assume if it isn’t how much the Japanese eat that’s responsible for those impressive lifespans and health statistics, it must be what they eat. Dean Ornish and Andrew Weil would certainly agree, not to mention the American dietary guideline posters in every public school cafeteria, since the Japanese diet is famously low in saturated fat and high in one grain in particular. Naomi Moriyama outlined the so called seven pillars of Japanese cuisine: fish, vegetables, rice, soy, noodles, tea, fruit. All we have to do is eat these until we are 80% full. That’s the big secret of legendary health.

I feel you and your trim Asian figure, girl, but not so fast. Where’s your proof? Where’s the compelling argument explaining how your countrymen manage to outlive everyone else on the planet? Even though Moriyama may have grown up in a Japanese household, I am not prepared to consider her the expert on Japanese food. In fact, I’m not even willing to consider most Japanese-written books on the subject anything more than Banana Diet knock offs. I trust the American offerings even less. I know you’ve seen those beautiful pictures of kaiseki courses or fancy spa bentos, but the American preconception of Japanese food does not actual Japanese food make. Moriyama wrote a memoir, not a health diatribe, and don’t you forget it.

It isn’t Moriyama’s fault; there’s a distinct lack of controlled trials testing which parts of the Japanese diet are healthy, and those that exist are based on pre-existing assumptions about the health claims related to high-salt and high-fat dietary intake. A particularly promising Japanese-run, long-term mortality study defines the healthiest version of the Japanese diet as one moderating consumption of eggs, meat, noodle soup, high salt soy sauce, and alcoholic drinks to less than twice per week. The men in the study scoring highest on the health scale also reported eating fish and tsukemono (pickles) at least once per day. True to conjecture, the healthiest of the bunch had a 20% lower risk of cardiovascular-related deaths over those 19 years of observation.*

Don’t be too quick to throw up your hands in agreement. For starters, the Japanese population as a whole tend to have cardiovascular disease rates much lower than those experienced by the men in the trial. A 20% lower risk doesn’t suggest nearly as strong a correlation as a statistically significant lower rate of incidence would. The conclusion isn’t well supported enough to lean on, either. The study used a 0-7 rating scale, which effectively means any two men given the same score fell within the same demographic. For example, one man who failed to moderate his egg and meat intake would be given a score of 5, the same as another man who drank often and loved noodle soup but didn’t “overdo” the eggs or meat. This does nothing for the hypothesis that a diet low in saturated fat results in less cardiovascular disease. Failing to distinguish between the individual elements of the diet itself means the only real conclusion is that Japanese people eat differently.

The literature on disease and nutrition is filled with populations studies like this. I am certainly not the first to criticise them. Western studies similar in nature tend to make similar errors, most often assuming all Japanese people eat the traditional diet with saint-like adherence. Have you been in a Japanese convenience store? We’re talking about a peoples who repeatedly rank instant noodles among the 10 best inventions of all time. No need to romanticise the thing until it bears no resemblance to reality. Lest we forget these guys even have a television series devoted entirely to bread.

This cultural assumption is as dangerous romanticising the Japanese diet as it is vilifying the American diet. Health journalists speak often of the Standard American Diet and public health advocates crucify fast food, but none of us has nuanced data explaining what the Standard American Diet is. We have best guesses and we certainly have macronutrient breakdowns, but even the most detailed data available fails to distinguish between the sources of fat, protein, and carbohydrate. Surely our brightest minds don’t believe lard and olive oil have the same nutrient makeup? So you see, the American diet is just as elusive to define as the Japanese.**

Which is why people like Moriyama can only guess. Maybe it is the unfettered Japanese consumption of soy and fish products that is keeping them so bright and fresh. It also might be fermented tsukemono and soy products like natto and miso that are responsible for the Japanese superheroic qualities. Or, maybe it has nothing to do with the content of the diet itself. As Barbara Kingsolver points out in her delightful work of nonfiction, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, America is one of the only countries to totally lack a food culture, which is why we so readily cling to the ethnic cuisines of others. Maybe the traditions surrounding the Japanese life are just as responsible for incredible health and longevity as their high consumption of seaweed is.

In truth, no one knows. Moriyama claims it’s portion control thanks to the 80% full rule. Ringmaster of the US Academy on Ageing Greg O’Neill attributes the Japanese seafood obsession and accompanying healthy fish oils. Biology professor Robert Arking thinks it’s their less-sedentary and less-stressed lives. And you, my critical reader, why will you choose to believe one of them over t’other?

*I know I said yesterday that lifestyle studies are incredibly difficult to make sense of due to the other factors not observed or accounted for, but here I am, trying to anyway. The irony is not lost on me — it’s not like you can double-blind someone’s life, since changing one thing invariably affects another — but can you blame me? Short of applying for my own funding and moving to Okinawa for two decades, there’s not much else to draw from except experience, and then I’d be guessing with everyone else.

**While I don’t think he’s got everything perfectly right, Tom Naughton has an excellent video on how and why you should be skeptical of health studies. Folks like Banting get a bad wrap because they aren’t scientists, but you don’t have to be a scientist to understand what’s going on. You just have to be a critical reader, even when reading Banting and Naughton. This is too important to let tabloids decide for you.



« Older Entries
Newer Entries »